You know...

I wish I had the balls to tell people what I really think sometimes. I always seem to hold myself in check when really I want to tear someones head off.

Take this weekend for instance, I asked a friend if she wanted to go to the movies and out for pizza with the boys and myself. She agreed to go, but got grumpy and bitter while we were dining. Now, I know she's got a lot going on with her physically, that her health has been an issue, but c'mon... I asked you to get out and do something fun, do you really think I need your attitude? Her behavior lately is what is keeping me from calling her! I know deep down she's aware, but can't seem to get her head on straight enough to change.

She and I had a falling out not too long ago over her "attitude" towards work. Basically, her attitude sucks. She bitches constantly about having to do the littlest things when really she should be thankful she's GOT A JOB! She can longer function, physically, like she used to (she's got wrist issues) and yet they keep her on and cater to her. Is she happy with that? No... that would be too much to ask!

I told her that the job wasn't going to change, and after MONTHS of listening to her bitch that if she couldn't hack what little she had to do, then get a new job. She got pissy then realized she'd been grumpy then turned nice. I'm sure afterwards when she thought about the conversation she became angry all over again. Hell, I'M still angry, with her (fed up, angry, annoyed...).

She can be the kindest, sweetest, most giving person in the world -- or, lemme rephrase that, she WAS that person. Now she's turned into someone I don't even know anymore, someone I'm not sure I want to be around.

I did call her out on Saturday after a handful of snide remarks. It's like she needs someone to remind her that she's being a witch. I hate having to do it. I hate having to cater to someone who's old enough to know better. I have two children who behave that way at times. I certainly don't need it from my 35 year old closest friend.

Hear Me Now ~ Framing Hanley

Well, I swear to God we've been down this road before
The guilt's no good, and it only shames us more
And the truths that we all try to hide,
Are so much clearer when its not our lives
When we don't face the blame

Won't you
Believe
In this lie with us all.

Now my body's on the floor and I am calling,
Well I'm calling out to you,
Can you hear me now?

It's not rebellion when you're selling out to an
Out of fashion salesman
Our promising lives, are full of empty promises
Temptations falling and calling you home again
well I'm sorry, if we've let you down

Won't you
Believe
In this lie with us all.

Now my body's on the floor and I am calling,
Well I'm calling Out to you
Can you hear me now?
Now my body's on the floor and I am crawling,
I'm crawling out to you
Can you feel me now?

What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?
What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?
What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?
What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?

Now my body's on the floor and I am calling,
Well I'm calling out to you

Now my body's on the floor and I am calling
Now my body's on the floor and I am calling
Now my body's on the floor and I am calling
Well I'm calling out to you.
To you.

R.I.P. "PV"

The owner of the company I work for was killed last Wednesday evening around Hill Top Texas. He was flying in his plane for a landing, clipped some trees and cartwheeled into a house. He died instantly.

PV was the greatest, kindest, funniest man I've ever known and a joy to work for. It's hard to believe he's gone. I started working for him when my oldest was only 4 months old.

His obit said that he was a man 'full of life', and he was. I can remember many nights when he'd stop into the service and chat with me about what was going on in his life (or mine) or tell old stories. You can't even imagine how much he'll be missed. Christmas parties he'd get all his employees & our spouses together and we'd all have a drink together. Usually he about us all Kamikaze's, or whatever you wanted. I remember asking him one time after he'd told me about yet another of his near death experiences, if he had 9 lives. He'd smiled, told me yes and that he believed he was on life number 8 1/2.

Here are some articles about his death & his obit... say a little prayer for his family, please. He'll be missed by every person he'd ever touched in life. I'll miss him greatly...

http://www.kbtx.com/local/headlines/60861067.html

http://www.kbtx.com/local/headlines/61356072.html

I hate my job

I wish I had a way of getting out of it. I feel like I've painted myself in a corner and can't get out of it. I'm miserable. I want out... I want something better. I wish I'd stayed in college and gotten a degree in something, anything! This job sucks, and not just because it's shitty, but because it SUCKS the life right out of you.

I thought my boss was my friend. We exchange birthday gifts, I'd go out of my way to help her if asked, but today?... she stabbed me in the back. It's a good thing I'm on vacation this week, because it's gonna take me that long to figure out what I'm gonna do with this... situation.

As I sit here I'm looking at my "10 Year" plaque from the company, wondering if it really means anything other than I was stupid enough to stay that long - longer even.

I don't know why

I let my husbands family get to me. My SIL had a party at her house this past Sunday and for some unknown reason to me, I was on the shit list. The only reason I can come up with is the fact that my husband made it blatantly clear when my camera disappeared that he thought his brother DJ had taken it. It's not like he hasn't stolen from family before. He took his brother's wedding band and hocked it!

My MIL (aka, "The Broomrider") has a wicked big mouth and a tendency to stab people in the back when they're not around. This is common knowledge to all of us. Doesn't matter how nice you are to her, how much you go out of your way FOR her, she's still gonna slice you apart when you're not looking.

Given the fact that MY HUSBAND blamed his brother (not me!), but it was MY camera, I'm the bad guy in all of this. My MIL's kids can do no wrong. They're perfect angels! If they do have flaws, she's the only one who can mention them, no one else! So, when Gregg accused DJ, her mouth went nutso around the family telling everyone that "we" thought DJ had taken the camera, and when it was found... ohhhh... guess who's the bad guy? Not my husband, for sure!

I hate this family, or at least some of them. I pushed my way through that day ignoring the idiots who wanted to side with my husbands loser-brother, because in all actuality, if the camera HAD been stolen and not misplaced, DJ probably would've been the thief. AND THEY ALL KNOW IT!

One of these days the guilty parties are going to want something from me and it's gonna cost them. I don't forgive and I never forget. My character flaw... my other? Trusting people who should never be trusted.

Is it just me...

Or did Demi Moore and Bruce Willis make some ugly-ass daughters? I mean, seriously... she should try to reproduce with Ashton, MAYBE she'll have a less manly looking kiddo!

As for the pic of Tallulah Willis' cleavage on Perez Hilton? Jeez... pay more attention to your kids! I wouldn't have let my daughter out of the house in a shirt like that!

Exhausted...

Kids started school last week (or was it the week before)? I think I've lost track of time. It was last week. Yup.

Anyway, I'm beyond tired. All day long from the second my feet hit the floor at 6:30a I run, run, run. I run Nate to school at 7:10a, then I run home to feed Nick, make his lunch and walk him to school. After that I run back home and work my 6 hrs then rush back out when I'm done to repeat the mornings activity, just bringing the kiddos home. Some afternoons I work a couple more hours, completely screwing up dinner, our night time routine and what little patience I have. I don't know how people do it... this shouldn't be so hard. I thought I was stronger than this, but man... I'm exhausted.

I have the next 3 days off - from work, but not from life. I have a Jeff Dunham concert to go to Saturday evening and a party on Sunday. Monday I'll be a vegetable and the rest of the week? Comatose.

My hubby has it easy. He just gets up in the morning and goes to work, comes home in the afternoon and sits in his chair. EASY! I want to throttle him some days. I don't understand why he doesn't help me around the house more. It's like he's clueless. I know I "raised" him better, I did! He's just so oblivious most of the time it makes me want to puke. I think this weekend he and I shall have a nice long talk. Somethings gotta give or I'm gonna go postal on someone. I can't keep up like this the rest of the school year and stay sane. He's gotta help...